Juan David's Newsletter - October 2nd, 2022
Cancel Your Bad Goals
Happy October,
Do you ever think about canceling goals? Or, a better question, do you ever consider the state you set goals in?
I went home this weekend, the first time I had gone back home during a school year. Yes, since my first year. If I’m at school, I’m at school1. If I’m at home, I’m at home. That’s why I never leave campus, not even for holidays like Labor Day, and why I didn’t even bring my computer home this weekend.
I went home because I was invited to a TEDx Naperville event on a farm. I spoke in 2019, and I was invited as an Alumni Speaker this year.
Yesterday, I was on a farm listening and having conversations from noon until 8 PM.
There was someone’s story that stuck with me so let’s talk about it.
Mark was an entrepreneur who built and sold a company for millions of dollars, and after he sold it, he lost his sense of identity. He told me that he no longer knew who he was.
I always find people like this interesting because inside of me I’m like, “Really? You’re complaining after being a millionaire and not having to work ever again?” Here goes someone again about crying in a Ferrari.
But his story was unusual. He was a millionaire, had a beautiful family of five children, and seemed happy. Mark was successful in a way most people thought he was but inside of himself, he lost his inner intuition.
Losing your intuition is dangerous. I often talk about career fairs, clubs, etc. It’s not that they’re bad (often yes, they’re just stupid). It’s that if you don’t know why you are doing it, you are losing your intuition, what your heart tells you to do, and what you really want to do.
Following your curiosity is a way to get back your sense of intuition.
Here was Mark talking about his story, and it was scary how similar it was to mine, as someone who wants to build and create technology. After he sold his company, he started to see the effects within himself, and a few years later, he was diagnosed with a bipolar disorder. A situation that affected him a great deal, and at one point, he even attempted suicide.
This story is real.
Mark explains why he became bipolar and had other mental illnesses: losing his identity but, more importantly losing his intuition. After he sold his company, he was “the entrepreneur,” but after he sold it, he no longer had that identity. At one point, he blew $1 million dollars investing in other people’s companies to get the entrepreneurs to like him back.
So yes, he’s bipolar and starts getting medicated, and for years, he was, but he says, “That never really helped me.” It amplified his loss of intuition. One day, he decided to give up the pills and find help to figure out the reason for his issue and not become addicted to short-term solutions. He explains that pills aren’t bad, they are suitable for stability but rarely long-term solutions or cures.
By the way, don’t forget about the “77 million prescriptions written for ADHD stimulant medications in 2021.” If you are doing what you love doing, do you really need to medicate yourself to focus?
Anyways Mark found help and started healing. On his path, he had a realization that much of what he was doing was due to a loss of identity.
But the most important part he said was about canceling goals and setting goals from a state of love. Love is the answer and the purpose of all things. That’s why I want to work on projects that perpetuate more love in this world. The start, the middle, and the end are about love.
In The Slipping Gratefulness, Part 2, that is what I was referring to about bad energy:
Bad energy is powerful but for reasons, you may not want it to be powerful because, subconsciously, it makes me want to prove these mfs wrong.
A few minutes later in the essay, I say this:
The best thing I can do is start small but dangerous experiments that go against the establishment like the one time I created the AI Office Hours Website. What would it look like if I create this thing again but for a different writing-based class so students don’t ever need to do boring and stupid writing assignments again?
I caught myself. The moment Mark said that I remembered this essay.
Here I was setting goals from a state of anger and not a state of love. I even started working on this project. But now I want to rethink the purpose and the whole intention. I made a mistake without even realizing it, and this bad energy blinded me.
It’s all about intuition and being connected to what you really want to do. We are all intuitive. Some people say they’re not because, in reality, they’re heavily disconnected.
After Mark finishes his background story, he shares the 3-step process he uses to make decisions and set goals with our intuition:
Breathing
Letting yourself feel whatever you are feeling
Getting back to a state of love
Once we start feeling anger or frustration, our breathing becomes shallow and our brain cannot think straight. In other words, we get emotional.
However, if we start breathing and allow ourselves to feel those emotions, we get back to a path of healing and acceptance.
That way, we avoid going on a hurt and damaged path. You can also avoid doing things to prove people wrong or to make a point. Just like I did above. This bad energy isn’t “bad” because it will make you successful but with a great cost, often deadly.
If we start with an intention and feeling of love, we can actually “make the world a better place.” Most importantly, we can remain connected to ourselves, fand our intuition because that is how we can truly do important things and also be fully alive.
From a state of loving calmness, the world can become our friend, and life is just better. You are not going against anyone but with everyone.
Starting with intuitive love is the difference between being successful and doing what you love and being successful and being indifferent2.
Last week, we were on the news talking about the UIUC Talkshow and the UIUC Free Food.
Thank you for your support and we keep moving forward!
See you next week,
Juan David Campolargo
It’s all about momentum. Also, it’s also a way to feel empathetic to my international fellows. They often only go back once a year. If they’re strong, I must be stronger. Just kidding.
The opposite of love isn’t hatred. It’s indifference.