Juan David’s Newsletter - October 23rd, 2023
What I Learned From My First Guitar Concert
Hi there,
Two years ago, I signed up for a talent show to try stand-up comedy with a unique strategy—no preparation. I anticipated a small crowd, but it turned out to be over 300 people. The performance didn't go well in terms of laughs, but I found unexpected joy in the experience. Read more about it here.
This week, I made a return to the stage, but my role was different. Instead of being a stand-up comedian, I was a guitarist. This is the story of how it happened:
PART I — The Text to Adventure
My Tuesday morning was pure perfection. I got up early, did 100 pushups, ran four miles, had breakfast, and wrote a screenplay for two hours. I felt fantastic, full of energy, and completely relaxed.
But then, a mission came into the picture, and I had to decide whether to accept the challenge. Uncertainty loomed.
A few weeks earlier, my friend signed me up for a talent show, but I never received any confirmation email.
“I didn’t make the cut,” I thought.
My day went on as usual, with classes and all, until the surprising moment arrived. After one of my classes, I received a text with the talent show schedule from the same friend, and to my amazement, my name was on it!
A rush of energy and adrenaline flowed through me, lasting for about ten seconds. Then, a reality check hit me like a ton of bricks: "Hold on a second. I'm actually not that great at guitar."
I'd been teaching myself to play since late July, grasping the basics of chords and strumming patterns, but there were wide gaps in my knowledge. I was still very much in the learning phase. The mission had arrived, casting a shadow of uncertainty. It was apparent that things might not go smoothly, and the prospect of embarrassing myself hung heavy in the air.
The question echoed: Will I take it or not?
Now, you don’t need to know me inside out to know that I couldn't resist the allure of this type of thing, so naturally, I was all in.
Then a shower of thoughts bombarded me: “Your guitar isn’t great,” “Oh, and what song are you even thinking of playing? You have no clue,” and “You’ve never sung in your entire life, you barely know English, and if that wasn’t enough. You don’t know the lyrics to any song!!!!”
The question remained: Would I rise to the challenge or back down?
PART II — U mad bro?
I took a pause to tell my mind I was going to do this. I found certainty within the uncertainty.
And as soon as I did, new challenges arose, but so did the means to overcome them.
Problem #1 : “My guitar is bad.”
Solution: I texted a friend and borrowed his guitar.
Problem #2: “I have a computer science project due today.”
Solution: I focused deeply for an hour and finished it.
Problem #3: “I don't know any song, lyrics, or how to sing.”
Solution: I pulled up YouTube and started learning as quickly as possible.
Problem #4: “I’m not great at guitar.”
Solution: So what? I'm performing regardless!
My class ended at 2 PM, and by 2:30 PM, I had secured the borrowed guitar. I buckled down for my computer science assignment session, completing it by 4:30 PM. With hunger gnawing at my stomach, I hastily devoured dinner.
I was finally ready for GUITAR TIME!
I stepped into the practice room and the following was written on the whiteboard. I was contemplating between Knockin' On Heaven's Door or Mad World but when I saw the picture below, it was a clear sign, and I went with Mad World.
From 5 to 6 PM, I tackled all things guitar, encompassing lyrics, the song itself, singing techniques, strumming patterns, and some intense practice.
I can't quite explain how, but in that one intense hour, I managed to commit the lyrics to memory, grasp the song, and stumble through a few less-than-ideal practice rounds of singing and playing the guitar simultaneously.
With the clock ticking past 6 PM, the talent show was already in full swing, so I knew I had to run over to the auditorium, narrowly avoiding missing my turn to take the stage.
PART III — Tearing Myself Apart
Before the judges announced the results, the emcee abruptly announced another act, Juan David Campolargo.
— The school newspaper’s description of my entrance
Everyone was getting ready to go home but I had not performed! I hastily made my way from the backstage and appeared on the stage.
Before I started playing, I took a moment to convey what the song meant to me and the impact I hoped it would have on the audience.
Then, the ride began, and to be honest, I won't attempt to describe it. I'll just say this: During my practice sessions, I felt pretty confident. But as soon as I stepped onto the stage, nothing sounded quite right. I fumbled, forgot the lyrics, and strummed incorrectly.
But I knew one thing: even if I messed up, I had to keep going. I had to push through, make up lyrics if I needed to, and just finish.
It was a mess up there. At times, it was so bad it became comical. You can get deep into your own head during practice, but it's a whole different beast when you're facing a real, live audience.
Frankly, I have no idea how the audience managed to keep it together and abstain from bursting into uncontrollable laughter. Kudos to the audience.
Now, watch my performance:
"I didn't know I was performing tonight, so my friend texted me and I learned this song in the last few hours," I confessed to the audience after I finished playing.
Laughter erupted from the crowd.
The audience lost it after all. I knew it!
PART IV — Losing Confidence is a Way of Gaining More Confidence
A few hours later, I was recounting the story to a friend who asked if I had enjoyed myself.
The answer was as clear as day. I had an absolute blast. I crave the thrill, the adrenaline rush, and the sheer exhilaration of embarrassing myself. Tearing down any semblance of reputation or image I may have had and reducing it to rubble is such a liberating experience.
In that moment of utter humiliation, I felt more alive than ever before. It was a reminder that life is too short to take ourselves too seriously. Imagine laughing at yourself. Does anyone do that anymore these days?
If you ever find yourself in a situation where you're about to make a fool of yourself, don't hesitate. Embrace the chaos, let loose, and enjoy the ride. After all, it's only embarrassing if you let it be.
Beyond the embarrassment, this experience taught me valuable lessons. Here's what I took away from it:
You can intently focus and learn quickly with made-up deadlines and artificial pressure.
I learned the entire song and the lyrics in less than an hour.
I sweated a lot, which was surprising because I don't usually sweat that much.
My strumming and rhythm need to improve. My consistency was lacking. I need to use a metronome seriously.
Singing in front of over 100 people, all while managing chords and rhythm, was an entirely new experience for me. I had never sung before in my life, making it all the more remarkable. I’m proud of that!
It takes lots of skill to actually be good.
It's in moments like these that you truly grasp the greatness of the legends. This underscores the importance of the next point.
It's valuable to receive feedback in front of a sizable audience, even if it means enduring the embarrassment
I suck so so much, and that’s a good thing.
Every now and then, it's necessary to bring oneself back down to Earth. During practice, you might think you're doing great, but it's only when you're exposed to someone else's perspective that you truly realize, or in this case, hear, your actual level of skill.
This process is undeniably tough and emotionally draining. It shatters any illusions of competence or accomplishment that you might have built up when practicing alone. Having someone else sit in front of you, listening to you hesitate, forget lyrics, miss chords, and lose rhythm is a humbling experience.
It crushes your ego, but in doing so, it allows you to rebuild from a foundation of genuine understanding rather than an artificially inflated sense of self-assuredness.
“I know guitar well enough to play a song badly” is better than “I don’t know how to play guitar at all.” I still need to get better though.
A group of friends showed up. That was nice of them. Thanks guys!
I found the performance aspect enjoyable, especially when I introduced the backstory and the reasons behind my act. I even managed to inject a bit of humor into the situation, eliciting laughter from some members of the audience.
What did I feel at the moment? Incredibly good. There was a tinge of nervousness, but it didn't matter that all those eyes were on me. I was incredibly focused and in the zone. I could make eye contact with the audience and relished the sensation of being fully present. It was more about being in that moment than just performing with a guitar, and it was a pretty amazing feeling.
“Losing confidence is a way of gaining more confidence in oneself and realizing what one can do.” — Lauren
Once you move beyond your survival mode, you feel free and can make radical progress as most people never reach that state of mind.
My willingness to embrace embarrassment repeatedly is an inherent part of who I am and my approach to anything I undertake. The initial “embarrassment” allows me to quickly learn and make progress. This willingness serves as a powerful tool for humility, stripping away any superficial confidence and allowing me to rebuild from the very basics, from first principles. It's a path to genuine growth and understanding.
Life is fundamentally about having a mission and dedicating your existence to it. It’s funny because last week, we talked about Mission Impossible, but in reality, all of us are giving our lives away to something whether we realize it or not.
At times, we may find ourselves trapped by our fears, allowing them to dictate our decisions. However, once we manage to move beyond these fears, we can simplify our state of mind and do what we genuinely desire.
Overcoming those fears is truly liberating. This is just one example, as there are countless other things you can do to free up your mental state.
After the curtains closed and the whole performance was behind me, as I made my way out of the auditorium, a girl on a skateboard offered a simple, heartfelt, “Great job.” I couldn't help but smile, and I looked back at her, half-expecting it to be some kind of joke, but her sincerity was undeniable. I chuckled and responded, "Thank you."
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Until the next performance,
Juan David Campolargo
it's interesting what you write about fear and confidence: I mean when the body is scared of something, the biological response is the same as when you're excited to do something - same hormones released, etc... that's why you can train your brain to be excited to do new things that may seen scary at first, and remove all apprehension. literally a bio trick. keep it up!
This is rad.